We spend a lot of time fussing over the negative images of women in all their photoshopped glory gratuitously displayed over every blessed media form. It’s old news to speak of the models with copied and pasted, highlighted and contoured body parts upon glossy magazine pages, and it’s old news to speak of what a small percentage of womanly figures they represent. This phenomenon of the media dictating what is ‘attractive’ is absolutely old, exhausted news, so let’s go ahead and move on, shall we?
What we don’t do a whole lot of is share our own experiences as women, bringing to light our struggles in the hopes that we can raise another from hers. Woman things are just taboo because we’re mysterious beings by default. How intangible is this negative body image ‘thing’? It’s not pleasant to talk openly about eating disorders because there are people with real struggles, right? Let’s face it, how do you feel sorry for the girl who feels poorly about her otherwise healthy and ‘attractive’ figure? Well, it’s not about feeling sorry. It’s about acknowledging the pollution that has been taking over generations of women, speaking honestly about how you overcome it, and when you do, how you maintain strength.
There are a number of ways anyone has gone about the battle over their negative body image. For me, here are two things I haven’t owned in years, a TV and a scale. I’m not trying to suggest you trash your beloved television, I have no problems with television, and I super can’t stand those “I’m better than you because I don’t watch TV” people…they are the worst. It just turns out that life isn’t less interesting without it, and my body image is at a healthy place and well, that’s worth not knowing what the kids are talking about these days. It’s worth it. Instead of seeing a model in a bathing suit with a perfectly retouched, well lit and carefully angled body making ironic love to a hamburger on a luxury vehicle, I’m busy taming this flood of self confidence and acceptance. …And the scale? You don’t need to know if you lost a pound after peeing, come on. It’s a useful tool for those on the journey to a new healthy life, but a torture device for the girl who spends her life with the perpetual growling stomach.
I stopped fishing for ‘thinspiration.’ I know there are at least 1,546,503,435 photos of excruciatingly toned gals in the mirror of a gym with their clever iphone cases all over Instagram. These girls are beautiful, they work very hard and many hope their hard work inspires you to work hard too! This is great! This is also ‘thinspiration’ for girls with sensitive hearts and horrible body images. These girls are of all shapes and sizes…and I was one of them, scrolling through pictures of girls with society’s “perfect” written all over them and in my head I did NOT fit it. It’s not about campaigning for the massive take down of hot girl ‘selfies’ (as the kids say these days) at the gym, it’s about acknowledging the reasons those kinds of photos affect you.
The cold hard truth that we don’t acknowledge when we’re inundated with these images of what the media says men should be attracted to is, you’re going to have your heart broken no matter what you look like. Someone has broken that model’s heart. Someone cheated on Shania. Let’s get real y’all. I’ve had my heart broken more times than I can count, and every girl I know has, too. It doesn’t matter if you denied yourself that piece of chocolate and went to the gym every day this week. It doesn’t matter if you ate your weight in someone else’s birthday cake and never stepped foot in a gym. We are all in this experience together. What is important is being healthy, and I am rolling my eyes as I write that annoying cliche which just went in one ear (or eye) and out the other at the speed of light if you’re struggling with an eating disorder. I was you for the majority of my life.
All that being said, I went to the doctor where I found out I weigh 125 lbs. Don’t tell 16 year old me, she’d lose her mind. I don’t weigh myself at home, but I’ve been wearing a lot of the same clothes for a while so I figure this is probably just the way my body is supposed to be right now. It’s a pretty low to average number for a girl who stands at 5’8”, which is not to brag; you know they say muscle weighs more than fat, so let’s do the math y’all-what I’ve got jiggles when I walk…I have not the athletic frame. There are things I like about my body and things society has me nervous about. Take heart, the great wide world opens up when you let that garbage go. It absolutely did for me.
Despite my average thin build, my thighs are not only acquainted with each other, they’re the best of friends. My thighs touch. They’d be just fine if they didn’t, but they sure do y’all. I suppose I could get a membership to the gym and research the proper exercises to acquire the ‘gap’ and I bet you it wouldn’t take all that long. I can say for sure that I wouldn’t attract any more men because of the newly acquired ‘gap.’ My exercise routine is not body part specific, it’s wellness from the inside out that matters to me anymore.
I’ve been on a year long journey with yoga, which changed my life, my heart, and the way I look at myself. It is the greatest gift to have come my way and has shown me the importance of really caring for my body. I have a greater lung capacity now, but my thighs still touch. Because of this new lung capacity I can readily calm myself in stressful situations, but my thighs still touch. I hold challenging poses for a long time that strengthen my spine and neck, preventing future back and neck problems that so many experience later in life as a result of years of heavy lifting and bad posture, and my thighs touch. I stand tall, with thighs a’touchin’. Ok, so I have a little muscle definition in my arms and core, but my thighs touch! I feel good about myself, and my thighs touch…two things that, brace yourselves, are NOT mutually exclusive!
I challenge you to challenge yourself; to bridge the gap between health and beauty. This gap is as wide as the sky now and seems unreachable, but it’s not. They fly 836,000 pound metal machines in the sky 87,000 times a day worldwide, but you won’t fly until you redefine what beauty means in your heart. You are not alone in this world where it seems unlikely that someone will grab you by the hand and tell you they get it when so many don’t. I understand, and you are not alone. I’m walking along with you….
……with two thighs touching.
Marion Grace Notes 